Get Your Point Across

This political season I've been watching some of the debates and speeches from the candidates and it's fun to see how they handle themselves in front of reporters - especially during the question and answer session. It's got me to thinking after the 'song and dance' is over, what do I remember about what the candidates said? Some are really good at it. Others are terrible and when they go off script, their words get taken and spun into something they didn't even want to be remembered for.

When we're trying to get a point across to someone else we often think long and hard about what we want to say. That is the wrong way to do it though. Instead of focusing on what you want to say to get your point across, you should focus on what you want the other person to hear.

What do I want to say?
Really think about what you want to say before you say it. Practice it if you have to or write it down. Remember, it is important to be concise, precise and specific in choosing your words, regardless of whether you write them or speak them.

Who is my audience?
Your audience matters a lot. The better you know your audience, the easier it will be to tailor your message to them.

How do I reach them?
In the political debates, the candidates have been using all ways of communication. However, if you are trying to reach a particular audience, study what they use most and communicate to them through that. For example, you wouldn't use a computer to target a senior citizen group. You would most likely use the newspaper or radio.

Manage this issue
Again, don't forget your main purpose. Increase your chances of getting your point across by focusing more on the receiver than the sender. Tailor your message to your audience and don't worry so much about what you want to say. Say what you want them to hear and understand.

Tip: Write down your key points and keep the number of points to a minimum. Practice fitting those key messages into what your saying and stick to them. Don't stray far from your main key messages or they will get lost.

A Few Words About Randy Moss

Randy likes to talk a lot, usually too much. He's a great football player, but he really has some public relations issues. The Patriots receiver lashed out in a lengthy and passionate news conference after Sunday's 38-24 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals, saying he doesn't feel appreciated in New England and that waiting until the season to get a new contact would be "a smack in the face."

Since his arrival 2007, the unhappy Moss has had three straight 1,000-yard seasons, including a record setting '07 in which he caught 23 touchdowns while helping New England to a perfect 16-0 mark in the regular season.

"It's not that I'm mad or trying to be disgruntled. I'm hurt. You give me a word," he said. "Sometimes you want your boss to tell you you're doing a good job. That's every man or woman who works for somebody. And that's just the way with football. If you do a good job and think that you're doing a good job, you want to be appreciated. I really don't think that - me, personally - that I'm appreciated." Bug, Moss who complained that reporters twist his words around, also said in a 16-minute back-and-fort: I'm not saying that I'm not appreciated here." Well, what are you saying then Randy?

"This is the last year of my contract. Nothing has been discussed. There's not been anything said. Not a letter. Nothing," he said. "I'm not saying that I want to stay here, but I love playing here. If the future of my job lets me go to another team, then that's what it's going to be. But for now, I'm still in a contract for the New England Patriots, and I have a job to do.

Randy has had a trail of on-field accomplishments and off-field problems over his 13 years of professional football. All of his talent has been marred by rancorous departures from Minnesota, Oakland and the Raiders. "When it comes to football, I take my job seriously," he said. "But I think around here in the New England area, a lot of people don't want to see me do good. And the reason why, I don't know. I really don't care. ...Me being unhappy doesn't have anything to do with me toning my game down. I'm here, and I understand my role. My role is to take the ball deep and take the top off the defense."

Then when asked who wants him to fail, Moss said "I'm just thinking that the journey I've taken to get to where I'm at, 13 years, I don't really feel that I'm very liked. And I'm not saying from you all. I don't really give a damn if you like me, to be honest with you."

Moss is an interesting, very talented sports star. He could use some media training too. Of course his large ego gets in the way and gets him in a lot of trouble. This is the center of why it would be hard to be his publicist. I don't think there is a thing Randy Moss can do to change his reputation now - he has been the same his whole career. Good thing he is good at football, because that's why people want to have him around; nothing else.

Dina Lohan Finds a Way to Blame Judge and Defend Daughter on Today Show

If there was someone that needed media training it was Dina Lohan. Last Friday, Dina Lohan appeared on the "Today" show to set the record straight on what happened during her daughter Lindsay's very public court battle. Her interview did not help Lindsay's case.

During the bizarre interview Dina Lohan repeatedly accused Judge Marsha Revel of "playing hardball" by sentencing Lindsay, 24, to 90 days in jail. Lindsay served 13 days and was released August 2.

"I'm not condoning drinking and driving, but she's still paying the price for what she did in 2007," Dina Lohan said, referencing her daughter's two DUI charges. "She's changed. She's grown up considerably."

Lohan also said "information would be coming out" showing that Revel was forced to remove herself from the case or risk being fired because of alleged wrongdoing in the proceedings.

Matt Lauer, who was interviewing Dina, said that it seems as if Lindsay's family and friends haven't done their part in helping her get out of trouble. Lohan answered that as a parent she had to grand Lindsay some freedom.

"When she went out to Los Angeles, she was 19," Lohan sad. "I had to let her go an fall and fail. Without failure, there is no success."

It's interesting that in Dina's mind, she has found a way to blame everyone else but Lindsay and herself for the things that have occurred. It's no wonder Lindsay feels the way she does. I wonder how her career will do after this entire fiasco. Right after Lindsay got out of jail she posed for Maxim magazine. Do you think Lindsay can still sell? For now, Lindsay will remain in rehab unless the case's new judge, Elden Fox, order her released. We'll see what happens next.

Watch the Today Show video for yourself here.

The Art of the Public Apology: Reactions to Wood's Public Statement

Last Friday's public apology from Tiger Woods spurred a wide range of reactions from the audience. I'm always entertained by these types of press conferences and thought that the Woods public statement was about what I expected. The public apology is an art and like always it has it's connoisseurs and critics. In case you missed the 13 minute extravaganza in which Woods apologized for the pain his marital infidelities caused his family, friends and fans (in that order), don't worry, I'm going to cover my PR thoughts as well as a wide range of public opinions on the topic.

(Professional apology expert consensus’s on Woods statement: Too long. Too much stagecraft. But otherwise, not bad.)

However, for all the expertise out there, and despite the fascination and great public demand for it, the art of apology as practiced by the average American person of prominence, whether in politics, sports, religion or business, remains by most accounts pretty unsatisfying.

There was Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina: "I've spent the last five days of my life crying in Argentina" or Lloyd Blankfein, chief executive of Goldman Sachs, who offered a stinting apology for his firm's role in the financial collapse.

Experts in the field recorded other failed public apologies:

· A "Mark Stanford" is the sort of rambling, confessional apology that leaves you worse off than before.

· A "Mark McGwire" is the self-pitying apology that shows a lack of genuine contrition, and broadcasts your resentment at being caught

· A "John Edwards" is that apology which almost does not matter because you are for the foreseeable future beyond help.

· A "David Letterman" is one that works, but only if you happen to be a professional comedian with a goofy persona and late-night talk show.

Elin was not at the Woods press conference. I almost thought that Tiger’s statement was a, ‘please, please, Elin take me back’ press conference. I thought it was interesting how Woods kept stating that this issue was not Elin's fault, I kept thinking, when was it ever Elin's fault? Also, I thought it was interesting that he kept saying the issue was between him and Elin. We don't even know if there is a 'them' still. However, as Woods said, that is not our business.

In my opinion a good apology has to begin with a real connection between the apologizer and the offended person or audience. However, I'm not sure that most of the people who have risen to the top of their professions are narcissistic individuals and are just not capable of that.

I think the real issue with public apologies from prominent figures is that they don't sound trustworthy. It really hurts social trust when a public figure reveals to be other than who they claim, and then follow up with an apology that betrays them as having an immature personality, unfamiliar with the rigors of honest self-assessment.

Often times the person apologizing doesn't even state what they did wrong or how it's wrong, ask for forgiveness or ask how the offended how to make things right. I think there is not a lot different between a personal and public apology. In both you really should be specific, say what you did, ask the offended person not only for forgiveness, but ask them for what you need to do to make things right.

I like the public apology analysis an author at The New York Times took. He compared it to a cartoon features in The New Yorker last year: The woman stands over her shoulder-drooped husband. "I don't want your apology," she says. "I want you to be sorry."

Reactions to Tiger Woods' statement Friday Courtesy of The Associated Press:

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Woods' Family

_ "I said, 'I'm so proud of you. Never think you stand alone. Mom will always be there for you and I love you.'" — Kultida Woods.

_ "I watched it but I have nothing to say right now. I have no comments." — Father-in-law Thomas Nordegren, in Sweden.

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Olympians

_ "It's a bummer, his personal life. He's trying to deal with it and I don't think he knows how to totally express how he feels and I don't wanna say, come clean about everything, but explain what was going on. He's trying to pick his words very carefully and apologize. I respect that." — American gold medal snowboarder Shaun White.

_ "do we think this is coming from the heart or the paper! come on Tiger! give us some reality here .... thanks tiger. sweet hugs to your fam, can't wait to see you back out there!! Good Luck!! — American silver medal skier Julia Mancuso on Twitter.

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Golf Community

_ "There is anger in some corners, but mainly it is a sense of sadness. He's an American hero, and he's had his issues. At the end of the day, he's a human being. We all make mistakes. We all have made mistakes. And when we're lucky, we learn from those mistakes and we get to be better people." — PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem.

_ "Today was a step in the right direction. ... We know what kind of champion he is on and off the golf course but this is a big battle he's fighting right now. He's going to show to the people he can be a champion off the course." — Golfer Mark O'Meara.

_ "It's not about words, it is about actions. It's all down to actions. I personally think if Tiger wants to be a family man, get out and play some golf and bring the whole family out with him. " — Golfer and TV analyst Nick Faldo.

_ "I thought it was an amazing conference. I thought Tiger was very humble. And, you know what? I think we all love him as a golfer and as a family man. And we want to see what's best for him." — Golfer Ben Crane.

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Marketing/Public Relations

_ "He came off very Tiger-like, in that it was a little too rehearsed and a little too scripted for my liking. The more scripted you are, the more risk you run of not being authentic or sincere." — Bill McGowan, image consultant for Clarity Media Group.

_ "It looked like it was staged. These things should have come from his heart, but he was reading out of a script. I could see he was tearing up, but I don't feel like he was being sincere." — Puntarika Susuntitapong, public relations executive in Bangkok.

_ "What I expected to see today was some humility. What I saw today was arrogance. What I saw was anger. ... It was basically an infomercial." — Public relations executive Rick Cerrone on CNN.

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Media

_ "One of the most remarkable public apologies ever by a public figure." — ABC's George Stephanopoulos.

_ "I think he was very genuine in his responses and his statement. I think we are entering a whole new era spiritually and emotionally for Tiger Woods." — Debert Cook, publisher of African American Golfer's Digest, on BBC News 24 television in London.

_ "Looked like a deer in the headlights — the kind of expression people have when they're playing with him on the golf course." — NBC Sports' Jimmy Roberts.

_ "I have never seen him appear so vulnerable. ... I was very impressed with what he said." — CBS' David Feherty.

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Business World

_ "I don't think anyone would want to rush out for someone who, by his own words, says he still needs treatment." — Rick Burton, former chief marketing officer of U.S. Olympic Committee.

_ "It was good to see Tiger address the public today, and we're supportive of his focus toward family and rebuilding his life. He remains one of the greatest athletes in history, and as a long-standing partner, we look forward to seeing Tiger back on the golf course when the time is right for him and his family." — Peter Moore, president of EA Sports.

_ "It was 95 percent about contrition and 5 percent about golf, because the latter will take care of itself. Winning, good behavior and time can be his friends for the long term." — Vada Manager, former public relations official for Nike.

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Alleged Mistress

"I would be open to a telephone apology from Tiger, but I really feel I deserve to look at him in person, face-to-face, in the eyes, because I did not deserve this. ... I am sorry for my part for any of their pain, but you can't help who you fall in love with." — Veronica Siwik-Daniels, who watched from Los Angeles.

Issues Surrounding Coaches Comments of Vonn’s Weight Could Have Been Avoided

Recently, Austrian media reported that coaches discussing downhill skier Lindsey Vonn, the reigning downhill and overall World Cup champion, said she would have an advantage in speed events because she was carrying additional weight. This is incredibly tacky, and I do not believe that this comment would have been made had Vonn not been a woman.

According to The Associated Press, Vonn said the comments didn't weigh on her but served as motivation when she won a trio of World Cup races, dominating three days of speed racing in Haus im Ennstal, Austria, this month.

Last week in a teleconference, Von said that she takes pride in being fit and fast and "if weight were the key to success in ski racing, then everyone would be stuffing their faces with food. ...I just think it's pretty ridiculous and it definitely irritated me." Vonn said.

I thought it was interesting that Vonn put more blame on the journalists than the coaches who actually made the comments. "But, you know, I think in all fairness, I think it was an exaggeration on the journalists' part on the comments of the Austrian coaches, ...the Austrian coaches actually apologized to me," Vonn added. Why was this exaggerated though? Truthfully, because it was an extreme comment that the journalists' knew would start debate and controversy sells.

Even though there have been great leaps in equal rights, this shows that there is still a stigma surrounding women athletes compared to male athletes. But, in this rise of feminine power - I'm not surprised this statement was taken and blasted through the media.

Twin Cities station, WCCO interviewed U of M Sports Scientist, Nicole LaVoi on this topic. LaVoi said when it comes to female athletes, many people talk about how they look rather than what they actually do. "The critique wasn't, 'Oh, she looks muscular and fit and ready to do her best.' It was, 'Oh, she looks a little heavier.'" LaVoi said it becomes an issue when you consider how many times you hear the same types of comments directed at male athletes. You don't often hear people saying of Bode Miller, "He's looking a little heavy this year, maybe that will help him go faster," said LaVoi.

I think this issue could have been avoided if the Austrian coaches had been media trained better. Any publicist or rep would know what words or comments should be avoided. However, in the end I think the coaches did a good job apologizing to Vonn for their comments.

Despite skiing with a bruised left lower arm Vonn hurt in a crash during last month's giant slalom race in Lienz, Austria, Vonn won two downhills and a Super-G at the beginning of December. That raised her total to 28 victories, putting her at No. 2 on the all-time list of American skiers, three titles behind Bode Miller. I'm glad to see that this is not affecting her ability or attitude.